Writing a Baldrige Feedback Comment
Introduction
A couple of my coworkers are first-year examiners with the Florida Sterling Council, and as of this writing, they are just starting independent evaluation for their respective teams. Drafting that first comment is always hard, and they have asked me how I write comments. This is how I do it – if your team leader recommends a different approach – follow their lead to yield a more consistently written final feedback. Otherwise, I hope this helps.
Background and method
During my time as a college student, the Board of Education adopted Administrative Rule 6A-10.030, the Gordon Rule (after Senator Jack Gordon). This rule was intended to ensure first- and second-year college students acquired analytical and communication skills. Initially, this rule required most English and humanities classes to assign written work of 6,000 words. At FSU in the early ’80s, that meant 8 papers of 750 words were required per course. The Gordon Rule still exists but has transformed into a more meaningful, less formulaic rule. Nevertheless, this formula for writing numerous 750-word essays has served me well in my professional career, and I have adopted it for writing my draft Sterling comments.
The Mnemonic used to remember the writing formula is TRITE and it can be applied to both individual paragraphs and the entire Gordon Rule paper. The formula applied to paragraphs is:
T – Topic Sentence,
R – Reinforce/Restate (and expand) on the Topic Sentence,
I – Illustrate the points (3 sentences),
T – Tie it all together (or Transition to the next Paragraph),
E – Edit what you wrote so it’s not so trite.
Generic Example
Topic: Giving consistent and effective feedback is an easy four-step skill for managers to learn.
Reinforce: To give effective feedback managers need to 1) remember feedback it to influence future behavior, 2) identify the right place and time for feedback, 3) describe the behavior and the result, 5) ask for a commitment.
Illustrate: When a manager observes behaviors by an employee that should either be encouraged or discouraged, the feedback given should influence the employee to continue or modify that behavior. It is neither praise, nor punishment.
Illustrate: The best place and time to give feedback is in private, as close in time to the behavior as practical, and when the employee is in an appropriate frame of mind to receive the feedback.
Illustrate: Feedback should describe a specified behavior and its result, not feelings, opinion or judgement.
Illustrate: At the end of feedback, it is important for the manager to ask for a commitment to continue or to discontinue the behavior.
Transition: Let’s look in more detail at the first step, influence future behavior. (the Topis Sentence of the next paragraph would be about focusing on future behavior, how to do that would be what would be illustrated)
Or
Tie it Up: Next week’s seminar on Feedback will teach new managers the four-step feedback method and lead to increased productivity and engagement for the Acme Supply Company employees.
Edit: Obviously still needs some editing – But do you see how the formula leads to a well-structured paragraph that can be edited from trite to terrific? And by my count 169 words, four more paragraphs, and I’ve passed my 750 work Gordon Rule requirement. Let’s look at all those sentences as an actual paragraph.
” Giving consistent and effective feedback is an easy four-step skill for managers to learn. To give effective feedback, managers need to 1) remember feedback is to influence future behavior, 2) identify the right place and time for feedback, 3) describe the behavior and the result, 5) ask for a commitment. When a manager observes behaviors by an employee that should either be encouraged or discouraged, the feedback given should influence the employee to continue or modify that behavior. It is neither praise nor punishment. The best place and time to give feedback is in private, as close in time to the behavior as practical, and when the employee is in an appropriate frame of mind to receive the feedback. Feedback should describe a specified behavior and its result, not feelings, opinion, or judgment. At the end of the feedback, the manager needs to ask for a commitment to continue or discontinue the behavior. Let’s look in more detail at the first step, influence future behavior.”
Now let’s tweak formula to create a Sterling/Oglethorpe comment draft.
Sterling/Oglethorpe draft comment formula
Topic : Use Criteria Question and Scoring Guidelines wording.
Restate: Restate using APPLICANT wording.
Illustrate: Describe the approach, the deployment, the systematic approach to evaluate and improve (learning) and the integration with other processes.
Tie it Up: Describe how it contributes to or may work adversely to a Key Factor. Reference a Result that supports your conclusion if available.
Sterling/Oglethorpe comment example
Topic: Senior Leaders of Acme Supply Company set and systematically evaluate the company’s vision values and culture through their strategic planning system including input from the supply, manufacturing and delivery division and deploy through the publish stage of their strategic planning cycle and through the leadership workforce rounding program.
Restate: The Acme Mandate (vision) and Acme Motto (culture) were established in 2005 after leaders personally led focus group meetings with staff, ultimately including all employees at the time. The Acme Principals (values) where developed in the same fashion in 2006.
Illustrate (approach): The Mandate, Motto and Principals are the first agenda topic of the annual Strategic Planning Retreat (SPR) and have been so since 2007. The supply, manufacturing and delivery divisions hold mandatory pre-SPR meetings and focus groups and submit and comments or suggested changes to the Mandate, Motto or Principals prior to the SPR. Since 2011 the employees of these divisions also elect an employee committee to attend the SPR and participate in the Mandate, Motto and Principals discussion.
Illustrate (deployment): At the conclusion of the SPR retreat any change to the Mandate or Motto triggers the implementation of a “What, Why, Why it Matters” action plan to communicate the changes to the press, all suppliers, all customers, and all employees. Targeted communications are created and sent to each group detailing what changed, why it changed and why it matters to recipients. All company letterhead, forms, and other documents are updated, and signs and uniform patches are replaced. Any change to any of the values triggers a similar action plan to update all employee job descriptions, evaluation forms, individual development plans and coaching guidelines. Since 2014 Senior Leaders personally meeting with each division quarterly and are required to relay a story about how their individual actions contribute to the Mandate and Motto and embody the Principals.
Illustrate (learning): embedded in the above
Tie it up: Annual Employee Engagement Surveys since 2015 have included the questions “I feel connected to the Acme Mandate of ‘Be the Only Supplier a Coyote Needs’” and “I feel connected to the Acme Motto of ‘Give the Customer What He Wants’”. Results for these questions have increased each year with 2015 having 62 % of respondents answering strongly agree and increasing to 80% in 2020. Similar questions related to the Principals of Trustworthy, Loyal, Helpful, Friendly, Courteous, Kind, Obedient, Cheerful, Thrifty, Brave, Clean, and Reverent have also shown beneficial trends.
This is obviously robust comment and I would not have all this information during IE when all I have to go on is the application itself. I would have still structured it this way because breaking it out by parts helps me come up with the questions I would want to ask.
For an OFI
Obviously for an opportunity the Paragraph would be much shorter. Notice in the comment above I listed individual divisions. This allow the opportunity – if valuable to the applicant to say.
Topic: Acme Supply Company method to set and systematically evaluate the company’s vision values and culture is not fully deployed.
Reinforce: The Customer Service division of Acme Supply company does not hold mandatory pre-SPR meetings and focus groups, submit and comments or suggested changes to the Mandate, Motto or Principals prior to the SPR. Neither do they also elect an employee committee to attend the SPR and participate in the Mandate, Motto and Principals discussion.
Tie it Up: Without the participation of the customer service division the company may not achieve its strategic goal of 100% top box answers by 2022 to the Annual Employee Engagement Surveys questions “I feel connected to the Acme Mandate of ‘Be the Only Supplier a Coyote Needs’” and “I feel connected to the Acme Motto of ‘Give the Customer What He Wants’”.
Final Paragraphs from Example
Strength:
Senior Leaders of Acme Supply Company set and systematically evaluate the company’s vision values and culture through their strategic planning system including input from the supply, manufacturing and delivery division and deploy through the publish stage of their strategic planning cycle and through the leadership workforce rounding program. The Acme Mandate (vision) and Acme Motto (culture) were established in 2005 after leaders personally led focus group meetings with staff, ultimately including all employees at the time. The Acme Principals (values) where developed in the same fashion in 2006.The Mandate, Motto and Principals are the first agenda topic of the annual Strategic Planning Retreat (SPR) and have been so since 2007. The supply, manufacturing and delivery divisions hold mandatory pre-SPR meetings and focus groups and submit and comments or suggested changes to the Mandate, Motto or Principals prior to the SPR. Since 2011 the employees of these divisions also elect an employee committee to attend the SPR and participate in the Mandate, Motto and Principals discussion. At the conclusion of the SPR retreat any change to the Mandate or Motto triggers the implementation of a “What, Why, Why it Matters” action plan to communicate the changes to the press, all suppliers, all customers, and all employees. Targeted communications are created and sent to each group detailing what changed, why it changed and why it matters to recipients. All company letterhead, forms, and other documents are updated, and signs and uniform patches are replaced. Any change to any of the values triggers a similar action plan to update all employee job descriptions, evaluation forms, individual development plans and coaching guidelines. Since 2014 Senior Leaders personally meeting with each division quarterly and are required to relay a story about how their individual actions contribute to the Mandate and Motto and embody the Principals.
Annual Employee Engagement Surveys since 2015 have included the questions “I feel connected to the Acme Mandate of ‘Be the Only Supplier a Coyote Needs’” and “I feel connected to the Acme Motto of ‘Give the Customer What He Wants’”. Results for these questions have increased each year with 2015 having 62 % of respondents answering strongly agree and increasing to 80% in 2020. Similar questions related to the Principals of Trustworthy, Loyal, Helpful, Friendly, Courteous, Kind, Obedient, Cheerful, Thrifty, Brave, Clean, and Reverent have also shown beneficial trends.
Opportunity for Improvement
Acme Supply Company method to set and systematically evaluate the company’s vision values and culture is not fully deployed. The Customer Service division of Acme Supply company does not hold mandatory pre-SPR meetings and focus groups, submit and comments or suggested changes to the Mandate, Motto or Principals prior to the SPR. Neither do they also elect an employee committee to attend the SPR and participate in the Mandate, Motto and Principals discussion. Without the participation of the customer service division the company may not achieve its strategic goal of 100% top box answers by 2022 to the Annual Employee Engagement Surveys questions “I feel connected to the Acme Mandate of ‘Be the Only Supplier a Coyote Needs’” and “I feel connected to the Acme Motto of ‘Give the Customer What He Wants’”.
